Forgiving What You Can't Forget Bible Study by Lysa TerKeurst | Session 1

This lady is so real, so honest and relatable. Thank you for a powerful message.

I have been made to feel bad about my struggles with unforgiveness, but you help me to feel more human about it, i truly appreciate this ...as well as the steps in taking to let it go.

Forgiveness is really the only way to deal with your enemies as you let go and let God.

I spend the pain! I do this by serving all the people who are in need in some way. The pain dissipates very quickly.

I have never ever felt so connected to someone in my life. I feel like you are speaking all about me.

Yes forgiveness is key… and EMDR changed my life and numbed me to the ptsd that came out of the pain…

Forgiveness is real..writing down people to forgive is a great first step! Then as we actively forgive them when they come to mind we can forgive them again instead of reflect on what they did to us in life! It is very healing to our hearts first and enriches our souls! And I know that God is very pleased with our sacrifice to forgive!

Well I guess I don’t need therapy anymore 😅 Possibly the best podcast I’ve ever watched. Thank you.

Forgiving for me is setting me apart from those that have hurt me beyond words. I cannot have any reconciliation because they do not acknowledge or take any responsibility. This tells me to forgive them and let them go ; release them for your peace . Take the high road. One can’t make another resolve hurts with truth telling. They dismiss their behaviour, so walk away and let distance begin. A little love afar for those birthday and holidays , but stop with it there.

What a beautiful message. What if? I need this in my daily life practice. Lord, please help me to practice and work hard to rule over my emotions and grow in faith. Blessings to everyone!

Thank you Lysa for being so transparent. It blesses so many! You have blessed my life, as well as many others in the Proverbs 31 ministry. I pray for you.

Thankyou so much, finally someone who qualifies to talk, not because you have got it all right, but for being honest, and still struggle, i am way past those who think they know but offer advice when they least do not qualify. Bless you i am struggling so much, has probably most if us are in this life, but then history hasnt ever been easy.

'Overlooking - an offence' .... is using the grace which God supplies us with. Each time it happens ... we can become ...more Christ - like.

I ended this video laughing because this video speaks so much to what I said to God in prayers, and to the questions I have had as well. Also corroborates my study of 1cor13:5 . God is really kind and this is just an encouragement to anyone reading this to be vulnerable with God and allow His word teach, correct and guide you even above your feelings/emotions.

The root word is for commune which means to say in ones heart or to think. Anger is not a sin it is when we act out in sinful ways from a root of resentment, bitterness or evil motives. Anger in itself is not sinful and to be hurt and think about what has happened to heal and move forward is not sinful. Not every wound passes and God doesn't expect it to. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting it simply releases the destructive anger, bitterness and resentment go. Forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation all the time either. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't.

I found especially in society as long as you give and give, all is fine, but when you need them, there is always some excuse.
God has taught me to say No,
buying a plant is so much more rewarding gives me more joy and pleasure, brings me closer and closer to my creator

Nice to meet you Lisa
You help me so much with forgiveness I was hurting so bad inside I ask God for help and I found you
What a blessing for me and you❤

This is not easy. (Forgiving)
Dear LORD please help me.

Thank you so much for the video. I am still recovering from my husband's affair, almost 4 years now but with God's help, we are in a place I never thought could happen.

this is such a necessary message - so many nuances! “cycling in and out of thoughts and hijacking emotions” thanking God for using this beautiful woman ✨

I needed this tonight, thank u. My heart is heavy but I know God is aware of how I feel. I got myself into a situation and I only ever wanted to obey God. I need God to show up in His mercy to save us.

God bless you mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially in Jesus name amen!

Very good video, This is so important for everyone. God Loves us so much that He does not want us to wallow in hurt and pain and if that is what he wants for us we have to want it for ourselves because we are made in His image. God wants us free of all these bad feelings because He knows it is hurting no one but ourselves and He does not want us hurt and bitter. WE have such a Loving and Merciful God!

This was sent to me today & even though it has been months since you put it on here … it’s the perfect timing for me! Thank you!

Thank you, Lysa.

What if. Indeed. I sure need to hear this over and over. Thank you.

After going through our horrible divorce with my first life Melanie and the fact that Melanie doesn’t want to be friends with me or talk to me anymore that really hurts me and also being assaulted in 1999 by my little brother Cory because of druggies and dealing with also the fact that my family was on drugs and alcohol I am learning how to trust God even in the midst of all the painful stuff that I have done. and this was my first divorce that I’ve had our marriage annulment it was very painful for me.
It’s dumb ass thank you for posting this on RUclips for those like me that are really hurting and the need of healing.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart. In all thy ways, acknowledge HIM, and HE shall direct thy path! Proverbs 3:5-6

Yes thank you about the message of triggers cycles Forgive myself first then others it’s a process and it’s good to get support and yes we forgive first it’s hard but necessary. It feels unfair but God does reconciles if both people take responsibility if not then yes it is hard to be in their life because we will be blamed for every future thing in the relationship. It feels all one sided sometimes.

This must be God for me. He has been dealing with me a lot. I have to cease praying 🙏🏽. Thank God for you sharing your pain that you deal with as well. God works in us and mode His children daily. He knows our heart and He knows we trying to change daily. That’s why He said in His word repent daily. Thank God His mercy and grace. Be in courage. 🙏🏽

Deep pain robs what God has given us. God gives us life that Satan wants to take. The evil one will do whatever it takes to steal, too, and destroy us. John 10:10.
Bless you.

Thank you Lord for your unconditional love and Mercy and forgiveness.. I went in a spiral of trauma
Since I was a child, anxiety and stress was building building blocks that blocked my vision and talents and my whole beeing. I met Jesus in person in, and immediatly sence His Love and Peace above understanding.. buy His example on the Cross, while He, the only righthess sinless on earth, had to die on the Cross for our sins, made me tremble and can till this day never forget His words on the Cross..Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are going.

These videos are really speaking into my life.

Thank you for this beautiful and uplifting message. I needed to hear it. God bless you❤

I'm learning that forgiving has nothing to do with trusting, grief ending, etc.

Hallelujah!! Thank you for this word!

So helpful… I love your willingness to dive into what Gods word really says. Thank you, Lysa, for being real with us. You and your team have been life savers for me these last several months.

She is very deeply understanding human being.

I will always be by your side

Thank you, we are dealing with a very wicked ungodly person. He is full of darkness, worships idols and has money, so he thinks that he can rule...but Jesus is the light that breaks any darkness, my daughter is busy divorcing him. Narcissist, the king of this
Hallelujah GID IS FAIR, FAITHFUL AND GOOD ALL THE TIME, 24/7
Your teaching is helping me a lot.
🙌

I know because of what Melanie did to me I know they’re gonna be healing and I believe in God has another woman in mind for me even though it didn’t work out because of the fact that Melanie’s family wasn’t supportive of our marriage they got in the way in fact some of them got in the way and others were very supportive. I have had to learn to forgive Melanie after what she did to me which was very hurtful and when she told me that she didn’t want to be friends with me that really hurt me as well I think it’s better to have the spirit of forgiveness than to have the spirit of bitterness.😢

Thank you for sharing, was in a 18 year marriage to passive aggressive covert narcissist. Forgiveness is possible. It has taken me awhile to let God help me with this. Your words are so helpful in understanding Forgiveness.

I had some aha moments! Thank you for this video ❤
My aha’s -
Life isn’t fair meaning that we won’t always get an apology we won’t always get to an even playing field and to know this makes it easier for me to let go to forgive/let it go so I can be at peace
I have to be OK with making peace with a person/situation with no apology bc that’s just how things go sometimes - that’s part of the rules of the game of life … it’s just the rules I didn’t make them lol
It’s been incredibly difficult forgiving a friend who was outright more cruel to me than anyone has ever been that I can think of. I’ve been longing for him to apologize and he has not and I don’t think he ever will.
After this video it is helping me understand that’s just how life can be sometimes so knowing this it has created some space for me to be more at peace with things and moving forward and to not seek revenge or wanting to hurt him back so he can feel pain. I don’t know if I will ever speak to him again I will work on changing my perspective so hopefully I can stop thinking about him much sooner than later.

Extending genuine forgiveness has been one of the most difficult things I've done. But the holy Spirit said it was for me not for them. So I have chosen to forgive myself and those who have shattered my heart!

We need to understand and know grace to forgive.

There are many days that I don't want to be alive anymore

All I've ever known... Just remember that if you are expendable so are others. Everyone has their cross, let them carry it because no one helps you with yours. And you are struggling with a season, try a lifetime. The weakness is you are willing to have these people in your life makes you socially needy. Benefits are for the betrayers.....

People take your kindness for weakness because you keep on overlooking the pain they have caused and you keep on forgiving them even when others have told you that they could never forgive them, but now i take everything to God in prayer and i work on forgiving but i can't forget

You acknowledge it....feel it....until it longer hurts.

Yes yes yes...and yes...when your own mother doesn't appreciate that I left my life and grown kids and friends in Maine to move across the country to Illinois to take care of her after my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Zero gratitude

For me it’s not re-living memories that caused problems. It’s living in the real life he created and paying the consequences of his sin. I’m exhausted. Anyone else have this issue?
And people on the outside don’t know and judge me for those bad decisions. He is so charming to everyone else. Everyone tells me how lucky I am.

Forgiveness is God's idea. For give and forget, being free. Well God created us with memory bank so we remember it even after we forgave someone. But we don't revenge. Forgiving brings healing and justice. Give it all to the LORD Jesus. 🙏❤🙏❤🙏❤
Thanks a million Lisa and God bless us all. Hold on to God we are almost home. 🙏❤

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
God requires repentance.

As a Mom who gave her life to her 4 children, this forgiving vs. forgetting is beyond painful. Due to an unexpected and helpless injury several years ago, I was left in the care of chronic pain doctors. Surgery had left a metal plate and 9 screws in my humerus, and I was in excruciating pain. There were many dark days of pain and ultimate addiction to the painkillers I'd become dependent on to get thru the day. Three years ago when I finally WITH GOD'S HELP was delivered from all addiction, I gathered my children around me and begged forgiveness for anything and everything I'd unintentionally put them thru when I wasn't even aware due to the addiction. One of those 4 children, 4 years later, continues to remind me of all I did wrong as a Mom during those dark days. He refuses to attempt to forget, rather, he uses every opportunity to remind me. So forgiveness without at least praying and working toward forgetfulness is worthless. I don't believe God remembers our sins, in fact, the Bible tells us in essence that when we go back to God to apologize again, He doesn't know what we're referring to. My son's refusal to try to forget have me in a mental prison on earth.

God be with you. How helpful this has been is the way God works. I pray that God use me as it feels in my heart at this moment he has ustedes you. Amen and Amen. Keep keeping the faith. Really this manner of communication is new to me yet I see now more I see all things are Gods.

So helpful, have to listen to this everyday ❤️❤️

Excellent, if give me hope that we can forgive anyone! God’s word is so good

Forgiveness lightens the heart

My husband of 4 yrs next month started pulling big stinks two yrs ago- they were shocking discoveries he secretly went about doing in his phone and one was w two if his female coworkers and of which involved other women via a dating app. My world and view of him and reflection on myself was shattered and for the past two yrs the worst part are the triggers which have led to the biggest and embarressing fights and abuse.
I flew w our 1 year old daughter to tco some personal business that I needed to tco w an old court case w a relative but I realized that my husband and I needed a break for a but to focus on working on ourselves individually and w God.
Just recently, I have learned that when my husband yells at me, I have learned to take a step back and listen to what he has to say ... I sat back and listened and what I heard him saying underneath his anger and harsh words was frustration and fears ....
In this process, I have learned that when I listenreally hear out what otherperson us ttying to say( removing the focus from myself and justifying) I am really demonstrating love towards that person.
His attitude quickly changed and when he facetined me 20 mins later he apologized and expressed his love towards me.... listening/hearing brought connection.
Please pray God will keep working in his heart and my heart and that he and I will both commit this to God and each other.

It’s hard when they are still living and cheating with someone only couple years older than the oldest child- it’s soooo hard - when they buy a house with her behind my back while I was away - they were house hunting on my 50th bday and our 10th anniversary… and knowing a year later I’m still crying and they still together but neither are even asking for forgiveness and act like they are justified some how
Im supposed to be finishing about 12 books but I can’t seem to finish these books - and well Lysa- I met you with my mom at the first KLOVE FAN AWARD- and you told me to make my bed every day- to finish my book- well I still don’t make my bed and still haven’t finished a book 😂 and well my mom passed 4 months ago from the vaccine - lost the husband and then the past weekend he sold our house and now I’m in a camper in another state alone BUT IM MAKING MY BED- IM CLOSER TO GOD AND ALL IN TO START DOING ALL GOD WANTS ME TO… so I’ve learned about forgiveness and pain and purpose this past 18 months and the pain is so worth it- since finding the purposes that God has shown me through it… I know I will testify and boldly speak for God so the spiritual attacks hurt and are real but GOD WILL USE THESE SEASONS OF WEAKNESS IN ORDER TO SHOW HIS STRENGTH AND SO HE WILL GET THE GLORY IN OUR STORY -
Amen 🙏

Lysa,
D day for me was Nov 11, 2019
It has been a super tough 4 years. My family, my world was torn completely apart. I ultimately used your techniques to forgive - God stepped up and I was able to forgive. I learned so much from you!

This is great stuff. It really helps! A lot! Thanks for sharing!!!

Her book Good boundaries and good byes and You're gonna make it and Forgiving what you can't forget so helpful in digging deeper personally.

I THANK GOD for you!

Thank you! You helped me to see things another way! God bless!

Everything she describes so true what I'm going through! Wow

I SOOO needed to hear this!!!!

Can I just sit at her table on a daily basis! Lysa absolutely address my emotions to a T! Been through a lot, Jesus help me through this process and please forgive me and be patient if it take a bit. 😢

Needed this so much, Thank you Lysa

needed this :( thank you for this message

I found your videos and I'm struggling with this as well. You speak out for women but as a man I am dealing with a divorce that has me feel the same things. It's so difficult when you try to heal a relationship and they push away even harder and become hateful. I forgive fairly easy but then get walked on.

Thk u so nuch God is using you , to heal others on forgiveness, your the one God choose to forgive too show us too, Thk u so much ❤️ Teach us Teacher Thk u.

Amen! Only Jesus can help u give true forgiveness ❤❤

Everything is so true. The pain just doesn't go away, and mine has been years and years. What do i do?

Glad a friend shared this with me ❤

Forgiveness does not erase the memory and mental flashbacks.

This was soo helpful and I shared this with my family. Thank you soo much!❤

Great podcast because a lot of us are in the same boat and really no one to listen so thank you and it's also a healing for you

Wonderful study. Thank you!

I need a bible I don’t have one. For me it was the justice.. it was unfair but learning that some families ( his) didn’t think I was worthy. I am deeply emotional and he never understood that.

Gods’ perfect timing

Love her talks ❤

Jesus' work on the cross HEALED God's Heart on MY BEHALF...and God LET Jesus' work HEAL His heart and pay off MY debt of sin...
Therefore, I ALLOW God to HEAL ME of the wounds, caused by others, ON THEIR BEHALF, paying off THEIR debt to me, too...THIS is forgiveness!
---
‭Psalm 4:4 AMPC‬
Be angry [or stand in awe] and sin not; commune with your own hearts upon your beds and be silent (sorry for the things you say in your hearts). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! [Eph. 4:26.]

After years of abuse from the inlaws and the husband, most of which ...nearly destroyed me. And if I did not REAlly trust God to avenge and vindicate me ......I might as well - take mySELF out. !?!?
I have forgiven the inlaws - and they spiralled out of my life after confrontation. My husband....thinks he can keep on abusing me ...and I should keep forgiving him. I did - but affirmed that I no longer trust him.

I really appreciate that lengthy list on why you didn’t feel qualified for writing this book. I have a situation in my life where I had to distance myself from a friend who has a pattern a abusive words toward me and has decided I am the bad guy for doing this. It has crushed my spirit for the last couple of months and I have desperately wanted to reach out and apologize just to appease them but my husband says it’s time to let her go. I feel so unworthy as a Christian because I know I have hurt her by doing this. It feels good to hear a list of someone who loves the Lord and knows they are still loved by the Lord and yet still realize we can’t walk in perfection. I’d appreciate prayer for my broken heart.

Hi I feel for you. I too have struggle with forgiveness from Birth to 77 and realised my needing to please has caused people to treat me abusively. So by taking responsibility. for my weakness look for insightful understanding stand up to bullying, it works we can’t change them only ourselves . Carol N.I.

With God All things are possible

I was raped by my brother-in-law at 11 years old. I told my sister years later, she didn’t believe me she accused me of sleeping with him. I realized them that my pain was never going to heal that I was never going to get past it, but no one would help me through it, it became an obsession of anger for me. I hated her I hated him and I didn’t know how to forgive until I found God when I for gave him finally, I realized he didn’t own my pain anymore I did…. I was able to forgive him, and I stopped hurting, but I’m still not able to forgive my sister she still alive he’s passed away. I still wonder why she couldn’t believe me, knowing who he was she lived with him she knew what he was, who he was, how he was, when she divorced him, she said he was abusive. I’m sure he was more than abusive. She has some warped sense of family. She doesn’t want her children to know who he was the truth about him. That’s sad that they have to believe something because she doesn’t want them to believe the truth, the truth is he had to face God and God punished him and he will punish my sister as well for the pain and the hurt and the lies that she is told over the years about what happened to me so I leave it to God and I forgive, and I will someday forgive her to probably after she’s passed it will be easier because I don’t have to listen to her lies anymore

Lysa!! It took untill halfway thtough the video with Leslie Vernick, for ne to say OH MY GOSH!! That's LYSA!! We read your books in Bible study and boy-o Boy did I enjoy you.
And here you are 'in person'!!!
With a topic so timely to my process. That was great. Then, I thought Di'd ho watch something else, but Gid tossed me here. And the message is perfect for what's been on my heart for days now. I couldn't name it. God is AMAZING
Thank you - Everybody. Ok jying duen sbd jyst absorbing nuw. ❤❤

That is a great book.I own that book and I highly recommend it

I remember when I started bible study and it was so hard for me to understand what it was that I was learning that I went my own way do to all the frustration trying to get the answers and the life I was truly seeking then I read the scripture that satan is like a roaring lion just waiting to devour and that image that came to thought I begged to ask then why am I trying to always do the right thing if the devil just sits studying my every move then this lead to more questioning. So with that in mind does God know your heart when it comes to showing a heart of forgiveness. Is forgiveness true forgiveness when someone has wronged you and you continue to bring up that persons wrong doing over and over again never allowing them to forget the wrong they have done toward you or do you say I understand because I have sinned and I know what it is like not to have been forgiven what a terrible horrifying feeling that feels like. So when you ponder a god who is suppose to be loving and unconditional love then you think there would have to be forgiveness because forgiveness has to be given for love In the world to exist otherwise the hate we see in the world would be so much worse then what we see today the wars would never end.

I really appreciate and needed this🙏🏾

Excellent video.

Thank you ! 🥰🙌

I still don’t understand forgiveness… My oldest daughter was murdered and the way she was murdered required me to make the decision to take her off life support… The person who is suspected of poisoning her was with me and my other two daughters in the room and sat there and watched my daughter dying once I made the decision to take her off life support… At the time while this was going on I had no idea that person was the suspect… The detectives told me later that although this person is the main suspect that there isn’t enough evidence to convict him and that it’s not likely that we will see justice in my lifetime… At the same time I feel guilty of making the decision to take my daughter off life support… Like I feel like the person who poisoned her (he poisoned her over a period of time with antifreeze) I feel like he only started to kill her and that I ultimately had to finish what he started by taking her off life support… How can I forgive both that horrible person and even myself? I live everyday thinking about the commandment Thou Shalt Not Kill and that I had to make that decision to take my daughter off life support and ultimately end her life

This is so good!

Lysa!!! 🙏🏼👍🏼

Thankyou Lysa!😊

Need for fairness, this spoke to me as I think 🤔 sometimes thi isn't fair....

This is soooo good. 🙏🏼